Sign of the fines Britain’s speed camera policy has reached a new level of controversy. A memo now being openly circulated to Chief Constables states: “Everyone nicked means more dosh in the kitty.” And there’s a tally on the anticipated extra fines:
20 convictions – Annual golf club membership
40 convictions – Divisional Christmas party
50 convictions – Divisional Christmas party with lap dancers
70 convictions – Four-day golfing break for senior staff in Eire
90 convictions – Four-day golfing break with lap dancers.
The memo urges every Constabulary to adopt the motto ‘The fine is mine’ and points out that 150-plus convictions could mean the Home Office releasing extra funds for one new officer on the beat.
Extending the country’s speed camera presence to every 25 yards from John O’ Groats to Land’s End has also had a positive knock-on effect for business.
Share prices in Boots, Tesco and Supasnaps have rocketed with an anticipated 23,000,000 rolls of film being handed in for processing every day for the one-hour turnaround service.
Royal Mail also predicts dramatic growth but is fearful of the impact the camera policy will have on its own transport fleet. more
19th June 2004
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“I am delighted that my challenge has been backed by over 1/3 of all labour MPs and that I that I secured the support of 14% more MPs than I needed to spark a leadership contest. Or to put it another way, that is a 70% increase on what was required, allowing for seasonal adjustments due to absenteeism which is measured by an index based upon a propensity for sickness and holiday averaged out over a 36 month period, divided by the average age of an MP squared. These figures could not send out a clearer message.”
The notoriously frosty relationship between the PM and his Chancellor had sunk to new lows in the weeks leading up to todays announcement. In an off the record interview with Heat Magazine, Brown is said to have criticised Blair for being a “spineless spin master whose supposed superiority has seen success only sporadically”. When the alleged leader of the opposition, Michael Howard, confronted Mr Blair in the Commons repeating Brown’s remarks, the PM could not hide his anger:
“My message is simply this – in my mind, if it is anything more than mere mischief making by the most malicious magazine on the market, then myself and my honourable friend must meet so he may make known his misgivings to me.” Blair did add that he was confident that the Chancellor had been misquoted. In private however, according to an unnamed cabinet source, Blair was said to be seething at the magazine article and at one stage threatened Brown saying “I should beat you to death with your own leg”.
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