The reaction on the streets of Iraq was, however, mixed. While there was some optimism, particularly with regard to Sooty's record on arms control, others denounced the new regime as being under President Bush's control. "Yes it's wonderful that Sooty will try to replace our AK-47s with water pistols, but this is as bad as the Council, it's nothing more than a puppet regime," said one. "We don't have a clean water supply yet and I can see an American hand up Sooty's bottom. That does not fit well with our culture."
An outraged President Bush immediately countered the Iraqis' allegations. "I don't care what the Iraqi people say, Sooty is a real bear – he told me so himself," he said in a speech to puppeteers. "And no I don't think it's inappropriate to have a bear in charge of Iraq."
The British Foreign Secretary has meanwhile emphasised the new government's democratic credentials, pointing out that al-Scampy was British-educated at Bootle High School.
5th June 2004
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“I am delighted that my challenge has been backed by over 1/3 of all labour MPs and that I that I secured the support of 14% more MPs than I needed to spark a leadership contest. Or to put it another way, that is a 70% increase on what was required, allowing for seasonal adjustments due to absenteeism which is measured by an index based upon a propensity for sickness and holiday averaged out over a 36 month period, divided by the average age of an MP squared. These figures could not send out a clearer message.”
The notoriously frosty relationship between the PM and his Chancellor had sunk to new lows in the weeks leading up to todays announcement. In an off the record interview with Heat Magazine, Brown is said to have criticised Blair for being a “spineless spin master whose supposed superiority has seen success only sporadically”. When the alleged leader of the opposition, Michael Howard, confronted Mr Blair in the Commons repeating Brown’s remarks, the PM could not hide his anger:
“My message is simply this – in my mind, if it is anything more than mere mischief making by the most malicious magazine on the market, then myself and my honourable friend must meet so he may make known his misgivings to me.” Blair did add that he was confident that the Chancellor had been misquoted. In private however, according to an unnamed cabinet source, Blair was said to be seething at the magazine article and at one stage threatened Brown saying “I should beat you to death with your own leg”.
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