Lipton-ice tea begin biannual failed UK marketing campaign

The marketing department of Unilever UK today began the company's biannual drive to establish the Lipton-ice Tea brand in the UK. The drive has previously failed abjectly in 2002, 2000, 1998 and executives in the UK have little confidence that it will succeed this year.

Natalie Harris, brand manager of the product told Campaign Magazine, "Lipton Ice Tea is less popular in the UK than Rola Cola but the pig-headed stupidity of corporate marketing demands that a successful soft-drink brand in the US can be made to work everywhere-else in the world. To be honest we've made fuck-all effort with this campaign, the TV ads are breathtakingly poor, to the point of actually having a negative effect on a brand with almost zero sales."

Asked if she felt failure to establish Lipton Ice as a UK brand would affect her career, Harris replied, "What career? This product is the kiss of death for any marketeer. If God himself told the Pope to switch Iced Tea for wine in the communion we couldn't shift this piss in Britain."

3rd July 2004
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